I know I shouldn’t, but I keep doing it: Why weight loss does not work through force, and how to finally switch off the inner fight with food

Why the body refuses performance and looks for safety

After childbirth, in chronic tiredness, or under the constant pressure of duties, our nervous system often switches into so-called survival mode. As psychologist Stephen Porges explains in his polyvagal theory, in this specific state the organism is not looking for peak performance or aesthetic goals, but primarily for a sense of safety.

Safety for our body in these moments looks like calm and a minimum of demands. An overloaded system perceives any attempt at a strict diet as another threat, which it instinctively defends itself against.
That is why we return to food, because it is the fastest way to give the body energy and the dopamine it is missing in the grey of duties.

The myth of willpower: the brain saves energy

Most attempts at change begin with a rational decision in the head. But our habits do not arise in the cerebral cortex; they are stored deep in evolutionarily older parts of the brain.
According to neuroscientist Mitsuo Kawato, our brain loves automatisms, because they save precious energy.

Changing a habit costs the brain an enormous amount of effort. If you are exhausted, the system automatically chooses the path of least resistance.

Willpower is a depletable resource. During the day you spend it on decisions at work and care for the family, and in the evening there is simply no strength left to fight the inner urge.

The “food noise” phenomenon and the trap of modern chemistry

There has been a lot of talk lately about preparations based on semaglutide (such as Ozempic and others) that make weight loss easier. These substances mimic the hormone GLP-1, which travels directly to the hypothalamus and chemically switches off hunger signals. Users describe that “food noise” has finally stopped — that inner voice that constantly made them think about food.
The truth, however, is that this chemistry does not address the cause of the stress in the head. If your nervous system is still tense, the need for relief has not disappeared; it has only been blocked for a time. As researcher John Wilding notes, without a change in inner setting, thoughts about food return after the chemical support is stopped, because the body still does not feel safe.

What to do when a craving comes and the body is calling for help

The greatest stress trigger is the sentence: “I have a terrible craving, but I mustn’t.” This inner ban immediately switches the brain into a state of scarcity, which only increases the urge to “emotionally stuff” yourself.
Instead of fighting with yourself, try a calming technique that returns control from the automatic system back to you:

Name the need: Ask yourself: “Am I hungry in my stomach, or in my head?” You will often find that the craving is only a call for rest.

Wait 10 minutes: Do not forbid yourself anything. Tell yourself that you can have the food in 10 minutes if, after three deep exhalations, the craving has not eased.

Activate the vagus nerve: A slow, long exhalation sends the brain a signal of safety. A craving triggered by stress naturally quiets down.

The path to inner calm with Calmory

True transformation does not begin with calories, but with the body’s ability to switch from survival mode into a sense of safety. As Calmory’s expert guarantor, psychotherapist and crisis intervention specialist Filip Hajna, explains, calm is a skill that can be trained much like a muscle. In the Calmory app he recommends:

The 30 Days of Calm course for overwhelmed and anxious people, where you will find practical tips and techniques for building calm step by step.

Besides the course, you can use a rich content library at any time, where you will find: SOS techniques, daily phases, meditations, breathing exercises, music, nature sounds, affirmations, and fairy tales and bedtime stories.
 

Calm can be learned, and with Calmory in your pocket, you are never alone.

Sources:

KAWATO, Mitsuo. Adaptation and learning in control of voluntary movement by the central nervous system. Advanced Robotics, 1989.
OLAFSDOTTIR, Gunnthora, et al. Health Benefits of Walking in Nature: A Randomized Controlled Study Under Conditions of Real-Life Stress. Environment and Behavior, 2018.
PORGES, Stephen W. The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company, 2011.
WILDING, John P. H., et al. Once-Weekly Semaglutide in Adults with Overweight or Obesity. The New England Journal of Medicine, 2021.

Disclaimer: This article is informative in nature only and does not replace professional medical or psychotherapeutic care. If you are experiencing an acute crisis, turn to specialists or crisis helplines.