My Body Isn't From a Filter

TikTok every day. Girls like posters everywhere. Perfect hair, lips from an ad, a stomach flat as a board.
I get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and I've got spots, circles under my eyes, and hair that's already greasy on day two. I think: “Really? This is my body?”

I started wearing huge hoodies and XXXL pants. Hide everything. So nobody sees me. Mum keeps telling me I'm beautiful. But that's mum. Mum has to.
I still don't know what's going on with me. Sometimes I don't eat, then I overeat, sometimes I work out until I bruise. I don't know why. I just don't.

Once I found mum's old jeans in a box in the attic. They were actually cool. I put them on and went to school. The boys looked, the girls looked, and for the first time I heard I had a nice bum. Like… seriously? Me? It was weird, but for a moment I felt different.

And at home? Reality. My brother comes in from school, takes his shoes off, and the smell from his socks could take down an enemy. Mum's already yelling from the living room that he should deal with his feet first and then come in. And I crack up, because it's every day. We've all got something. Me with my spots and hang-ups, him with his stinky feet. We're just originals.

But then I open my phone again. TikTok. Insta. Filters. Retouching. Girls who look like they never smelled after PE. Boys who look like they never ate three baguettes in one go. And me? Still me. Spots, hair, moods. Sometimes I want to hide everything, disappear, change.

A word for you from Calmory

Maybe you recognize yourself. Maybe you also feel awful in your own body. Maybe you punish yourself with diets, overeating, hiding. Maybe you think about self-harm.
You're not in this alone. Your body is changing. It's as confused as your head, but it isn't broken.

What can help:

• Tell someone what you're going through (a friend, an adult, a therapist).
• Put the phone down for a while and do something you enjoy. Run, dance, laugh.
• Remind yourself that spots, stretch marks, the smell of sweaty feet, and circles under the eyes are part of life too.

If you feel like you want to hurt yourself, or you already are, you're not weird. You need help, not judgment.
You can turn to Linka bezpečí (116 111, free, 24/7) or Modrá linka (608 902 410). It's anonymous, and no one will judge you.

Quick Calmory techniques you can try right now:

• 3 inhales through the nose and long exhales through the mouth — you slow your pulse, and the body understands you're safe.
• Drink a glass of water — water calms the stomach and the head.
• Put a hand on your chest and quietly say “I'm here” — simple grounding.
• Close your eyes and listen to music — just one song you like.
• A short visualization: imagine your breath as a wave carrying the tension away.